


Defying God

by Fierydeans



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-18 11:55:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21610507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fierydeans/pseuds/Fierydeans
Summary: This a story about defying God, finding free will, finding loveThis fic will no longer be updated. So is just these 2 chapters that I wrote
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy & Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	1. The Morning After

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I just wanted to say hello and welcome to my very first word of fiction!  
> I hope you enjoy this story and bare with me in this journey!
> 
> I HUGE shoutout to bluefirecas who was so amazing and supportive, find her on tumblr and give her some love
> 
> Also you can find me on tumblr at fierydeans

_**Chapter 1** _

_**The Morning After** _

* * *

Sam wakes up with a jolt, his hazel eyes wide and his breath erratic, unable to move.

Another vision of watching himself viciously murdering his brother, another one of Chuck’s endings to their story. He shuts his eyes, trying to forget about the vision and shake away the horrifying feeling it brings with it every time. But it never works.

He is still leaning on his side, muscles tense, still paralyzed by his vision. A hand reaches his shoulder, caressing him, a soft warm hand and a light trail of kisses that soothes him and comforts him, then a voice whispers next to his ear.

“Sam? Are you okay?”

He turns around to see the warm eyes and kind smile of Eileen fixated on him. Sam takes a deep breath to steady himself.

“No I don’t think I’m okay and… and I don’t know if I will be….”

Eileen reaches for him and takes his face in her hands saying softly.

“I’m here now Sam…”

She leans in and kisses him, a gentle and reassuring kiss full of hope and newness to it.

…

Sam never thought he could have anyone again, not after Jess or Amelia… he wonders what he could have had and what it is now… his life, his curse, everything he can lose still.

…

He turns on his back, pulls her closer, the need to embrace her tiny figure to feel her skin on his skin, to remember her by touch…

He cups her face in his hands, his need for her becoming stronger and stronger. The need to forget the vision of that night. He deepens the kiss allowing her to taste him, to take the pain away.

He runs his hands through her hair, jaw line and neck. In a quick and agile move he pushes himself and Eileen up so she’s straddling on his lap.

Her hands are in Sam’s hair, pulling it and running her fingers through it.

Sam’s hands find Eileen’s face and gently he starts pecking small kisses above her jawline going down through her neck and collar bone. She shudders and hums with pleasure as Sam plants those small and adoring kisses. His hands move from her face down to her shoulders, from her back to her waist, just to go further down to rest on her hips. He’s taking his time to feel how soft her skin is and to take her in, yet again.

Sam’s in his little heaven right now, nothing but Eileen and him.

After some more slow and deep kisses full of appreciation and adoration they separate to look at each other, both panting with their pupils dilated, full of wonder and longing for one another. He kisses her again, this time more roughly, he wants taste her desire, running his teeth through her bottom lip, tasting her mouth and letting his hands dig into her hips a little more, pulling her completely against him. Her hands leave his hair to cup his jaw, roaming down his back and shoulders, feeling his muscles move has he pulls closer and closer…

Their kisses are full of passion, heat, desire and longing for one another and they only break apart for air. Sam’s hands are now on the small of Eileen’s back as she starts to rock gently against him. They’re moving together and letting out little moans of pleasure and adoration for one another.

…

There’s a knock on the door but they are too wrapped up in each other to hear it. Moments later, there’s another knock, this time more firm and then Dean’s shouting through the door.

“Heya Sammy whatcha doin’ in there lil brother? Is Eileen there?”

Sam doesn’t answer. If he ignores Dean will go away. A few moments later Dean knocks again and says “Cas is here…”

Sam wasn’t really going to reply to Dean, he was just going to ignore him until he left… but then Dean mentions Cas. And there was only one thing that would make Cas come back and he knew exactly what it was.

He let go of Eileen, both panting hard and flushed. He really doesn’t want to let go of her and leave this little heaven of his but he has to, there are way more important things and they can continue this later.

Sam removes his hands from Eileen’s back and cups her face once looking her in the eyes still full of desire and wonder.

“We need to go… Cas… Cas is here and there is only one reason for him to come back… and also I want you to meet him."

* * *

_**Notes** _

Thank you for reading this! I hope you enjoyed this little chapter, I will try to update weekly but no promises!

If you liked it please it the kudos button, comment share it, I would love to hear you out!

Also you can find me on tumblr at [fierydeans](fierydeans.tumblr.com). And again a HUGE shout out to my beautiful friend [bluefirecas](bluefirecas.tumblr.com)! GO GIVE HER SOME LOVE


	2. The Morning After - Dean's POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the early morning and Dean's thoughts are running wild until someone arrives at the Bunker

Deans POV  
...

Dean's in his bedroom lying on the bed, hands behind his head. He can feel the familiar comfort of his beloved gun laying beneath his pillow. He opens his eyes to check the time, but it’s still too early to get up so he tilts his head back up staring at the ceiling.

Dean’s been doing this more often than he cares to think about. He just lays there, aimless; thinking and worrying about everything. And he can actually do this for hours if needed.

Dean wonders about the reason he lost everything, how he lost Mom, Jack, Rowena even Ketch and most of all Cas. Not that he’s actually dead but he told Cas how he's dead to him and the way Cas looked at him with a broken expression you could see his world shattered and now it hurts like a son of a bitch just thinking about it, even if he doesn’t say this out loud, even if he barely admits it.

Cas just left him, turned his back on him, only leaving an echo of the closing door behind him.

Dean doesn’t blame him. He doesn’t blame Cas because he knows it’s his own damned fault. Like always, everything is his own fucking fault. He hates himself for it.  
He takes a deep breath, furrows his brows and lets out a trembling sigh, as he tries to steady himself. He closes his eyes, running his hands through his face and pinching the bridge of his nose. He relives the night Cas had left him.

…

He can still hear Cas' words in his head, "Jack’s dead, Chuck is gone, you and Sam have each other. I think it’s time for me to move on." He didn’t want Cas to leave, he was pissed, hell he still is but he really didn’t want him to go... not really... he is too important.

The thing that pisses Dean off the most, however, is that he didn’t do anything to stop Cas from leaving. He just stood there leaning against the table with a drink in his hand and watching his best friend walk away from him.

Later that night with an empty bottle of whiskey on his nightstand, Dean's on his knees resting his elbows on the hem of the bed, with his eyes closed. He's on the verge of praying to Cas, saying how he's still pissed and hurt about everything that happened with his mom and Jack, but he wanted him to come back so they can figure everything out because that’s what he really wants. He wants Cas next to him... to help him and to comfort him. Dean wants to tell Cas how much he means to him and how he wants him by his side, no matter what.

But Dean never prayed. Even the liquid courage wasn’t enough and his rage was still boiling underneath Dean’s skin and in his heart, the wounds were still too deep, too fresh.

…

Dean opens his eyes again. They are shining, filled with emotions.

Hell he deserves this right? He deserves being left alone, because he is poison, everyone he loves dies or is forced to forget him.

“The Winchester Curse” they call it... it’s all his dammed fault, he thinks about this over and over. Every soul they touch, either die or get hurt or gets pulled into this world just to die at the hands of some monster. The weight of their lives tugs deeper at his heart.

He also thinks about Chuck. When they thought they were finally free, finally making they own decisions, they discover how Chuck’s still pulling the strings, making the decisions.  
He questions himself yet again. What about his relationships, friendships, the lives he saved, was that even real? Were the people he saved really saved at all? Or were they just secondary actors in their story? Puppets in the hands of “God”?

Dean’s getting angry just thinking about this and it pisses him off. He wants to do something to fight God! But how? With what? Their only chance was melted right in front of them and he’s too damn tired to even care.

Not that he doesn’t care, he wants to, to fight, but he just can’t. He can’t find the will in him to do it. He just thinks he needs a big win, and the big win for Dean is Cas but he’s gone.

After learning that Chuck never left, he thought about calling Cas himself seeing that Cas wasn’t replying to any of Sam’s messages or calls, but then again he could never bring himself to actually fucking do it.

He must have picked the phone at least 20 times, that is until Cas called the bunker, now that was a turn of events that Dean wasn’t really expecting, but then again Cas still manages to surprise him from time to time. Dean picked up, told Cas off and informed him that Chuck is back, hoping that it will have some sort of effect on him and hung right up.  
That was a messed up day. With Eileen appearing, then freaking witches, almost dying and shit, oh and Sammy being a fucking Ginger Jr over there bringing people back to life? Dude he really wasn’t up for it. At least Sam got his win and Dean is pretty much high and dry.

At the end of the day, Sam told him how he needs him, how he needs his brother and that they can find a way to fight Chuck, to end this. But Dean doesn’t see it, he doesn’t feel it. The only thing he feels is hopelessness, and a big black pit in his heart, which crawls into his head, and has put roots in every thought of his, every good memory he has.

Yet again his mind drifts to Cas, the memories from the moment he met him, how he raised him from perdition, as Cas puts it. He chuckles, a dry hopeless chuckle. That was a good moment, he didn’t even want to believe it, an angel? An actual angel saved him!  
But then, what if Cas is just another string in God's puppet show? He is an angel after all, a literal son of God. Was their friendship even real? Everything they went through, their hardships in purgatory, their good moments, even their fights?

Deans shuts his eyes, runs his hands through his face. His rage is starting to boil over again, if he could just get up and put a bullet in Chuck he would! Hell Sam did and the only thing it did was connect them somehow and now Sam is having these weird ass visions of versions of themselves killing each other. It’s getting too much, even for Dean. He wishes Cas was here…

Dean takes a deep calming breath and lifts himself up to a sitting position. As he is running his hands through his already messy hair, he hears the faint sound of the bunker door shutting.

Dean goes into full alert mode, reaching for his gun below his pillow, he exits his room, still in his plain tee, hotdog pajama pants and barefoot. He carefully opens his bedroom door trying to avoid making any sound and walks his way down the corridor, into the war room and straight to the library. As he is turning around the corner, he stops in his tracks when he finds the reason for this commotion. “Fucking hell” Dean thinks.

Cas is standing there in the dim light with his back turned on him.

Dean lowers his gun, feeling somehow relieved.

“Dammit Cas! How about a warning next time?” Dean let’s out a resigned sigh as he shouts half mad half surprised, as he wasn’t expecting to see him anytime soon. Although he had hoped that that the news about Chuck would bring him back here. Not to him... at least not yet… just… just here...

Cas doesn’t seem phased, he only turns half of his face and greets him with a dry “Hello.”  
A moment later he adds, “Get Sam. We need to talk.” He turns to face Dean, looks him straight in the eyes. “I have news.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this! This doesn't really move forward with the story, but I thought is was a good little moment to have here, also it just came through me has I was starting the new chapter that will give away the reason Cas is back so soon.
> 
> I will try to update weekly but no promises!
> 
> If you liked it please it the kudos button, comment and share it, I would love to hear you out!
> 
> Also you can find me on tumblr at fierydeans. And again a HUGE shout out to my beautiful friend bluefirecas! GO GIVE HER SOME LOVE


	3. End Notes

Hi. I just wanted to say. Thank you to everyone who read these chapters. There was gonna be a story but I’m no longer vibbing with it. So this fic will no longer be updated.


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